Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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