Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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