last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
