she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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