i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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