No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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