i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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