so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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