I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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