she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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