i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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