don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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