So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
