so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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