U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
