I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
