Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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