Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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