Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
