I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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