Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
