I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
