so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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