wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
