i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize