your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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