hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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