Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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