Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize