It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
