I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
