So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
