Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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