i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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