so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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