So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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