i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
