yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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