I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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