Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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