wakey wakey hands off snakey
I haven't been this sober since birth.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
