I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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