Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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