I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize