I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
