i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
