ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
