Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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