is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
