"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
