my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
