Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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