I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
