i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize