Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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