He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
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